In my, not so humble opinion, it is a sign of our messed up mindset on what is beautiful.

Thinspiration (thuh-in-spear-ray-shun) A board on Pinterest that is filled with pictures of skeletal women that remind you not to eat, tells you life is better when you’re skinny, and life begins in size zero pants.

My anxiety rises when I look at these boards.

This is a world gone wrong. Oh so very wrong. There is nothing perfect about this!

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Just the facts.

• Wearing smaller pants won’t improve your vision. See what is great about yourself now.
• Life isn’t better when your skinnier.
• You can be thin on the outside and have the fattest mind on the planet. How you think shapes your world.
• One day you’re going to be old and most likely the antithesis of ‘thinspirational‘, but you can be drop dead gorgeous. Who you are matters more than what you look like.
• Every. Single. Magazine. Picture. Is. Photoshopped.

Time to lighten the load!

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If you look in the mirror and can only see what isn’t about you, you will never see ‘what is‘ about you if you ever ‘arrive‘.

Say no to this:

I feel inspired to feed this woman a gianormous sandwich, nothing more.

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And YES to this:

Seriously, you are fantabulous.

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This video says it all.

‘Maybe she’s born with it…nah, I’m pretty sure its Fotoshop.”

Be the best you possible every single day, that is all that is required.

Who’s with me?

Everything that I can, have, and do complain about is 100% ‘my fault‘.

No one is making me:

• Get up at 4:30 am
• Eat a super focussed diet
• Train like a mad woman
• Do HIIT sprints after training and cardio on non-lifting days
• Say no to ‘tasty‘ foods
• Practice posing
• Get over myself and glue a suit to my arse
• Pack food most places I go
• Only have 14 almonds, not 15

Not even my coach is responsible for what I do or don’t do. Joe and Kori make the plans, I implement or don’t. Its that simple or complex, however you want to look at it.

I want to do this.

Sometimes competitors forget that doing a competition is something that we choose to do. No one but me says I have to do this competition. I compete because I like it.

Totally masochistic, I know.

I try really hard to not complain out loud because it sounds ridiculous to anyone that has ears.

When I say:

• Oh wow. I wish I could have that piece of cake. This BITES!

People with ears hear:

• I’m pathetic. I want to lean down and stand on a stage in a bikini, and God only knows why, and now I am lusting after your cake like a deranged woman. I can eat the cake if I want to and I want to but I don’t want to….can you please feel guilty for eating the cake in front of me?

Why do you get cake and I don't? Red velvet with cream cheese frosting too!! Woe is me!!!

Source

I could continue, but I won’t torture you.

When I complain I sound like the prima dona that is put out because her housekeeper is on vacation and no one is coming to clean her house this week. Whatever is she going to do?!

Meanwhile, we all want to punch her in the mouth.

Today I am reminded to be grateful that I get to compete in the first place. Gratitude changes the landscape of your life. Instead of seeing what isn’t, I am choosing to see what is.

Your life is a series of choices, make ‘em happy ones!

Once I knew we weren’t about to be incinerated, I started the process of gathering my most valuable things, finding my purse, and putting on some more clothes. My husband is the only one I will torture with my ‘pajamas‘ which consists of short shorts, woodcutter-esque wool socks, and the latest and greatest free t-shirt.

The man deserves an award for putting up with me.

After 37 minutes of standing outside with my neighbours who were also clutching laptops, cameras, photo albums, pets, and purses; we were allowed back inside.

It was the best I could do at 1 am after being woken up from an epic sleep. More fire trucks and firemen supervising the 'situation' than smoke.

With one eye closed, I took off my down filled coat, set the coffee pot to start perking at 4:25, and dropped back into bed.

What followed was torture in the extreme.

For the next 3 hours, I suffered through the craziest food dreams on the planet.

Martinis, nachos, cake, donuts, cheesecake, wine, chocolate, popcorn, and pizza were devoured by your’s truly all while I kept saying,  ’Umm…why am I eating this? I don’t eat this stuff. Huh! Strange. Complete and utter strangeness! Tasty though! Ooh, CAKE!‘

I knew it wasn’t really happening because no peanut butter was consumed. If this had been real life, I would have eaten more peanut butter than one woman should eat in a month.

I started with something like this, ate it in about 12 seconds, and then went on the desserts.

While I gorged, all my friends chanted, ‘EAT, EAT, EAT!‘

Seriously!

I was very thankful to wake up this morning to the usual black coffee, egg whites, and kasha.

Apparently the combination of a rest day, high carb day, and midnight fire results in enough stress to push me over the edge to have a mental food binge.

I feel like I have entered a whole new realm of prep.

Literally dreaming of food.

Have you ever dreamt of food while dieting?

Seriously, where did he come from?

Out of nowhere to everywhere!

The end of the bench.

For years he worked hard, went undrafted, and didn’t receive much play time. He was never thought of as a superstar in the making; yet his determination never wavered.

When you keep going, keep working, and keep driving forward despite circumstance, you get to come out of nowhere and show the world what a champion truly is.

You can’t lead a team to victory until you lead yourself there first.

Just ask Jeremy.

The courage, strength, and mental discipline that Jeremy displays on the court is remarkable

Victory doesn’t start on a stage as grand as Madison Square Gardens; it starts when no one is watching, when you are all alone standing in what could be perceived as failure. One day the whole world my be watching you, what are you going to do with today’s perceived failure?

This is my dream being lived out. Right here. I am so thankful.

Never, ever quit; even if you are at the end of the bench.

Apparently not, hence the magnets.

I guess it DOES make sense...

And apparently if you are married to a Figure Competitor you can’t tell if she is bone dead tired, grouchy, hangry, or happy as a clam.

I decided I needed a ‘Figure Competitor Magnet’ so my husband didn’t have to wonder any more.

Today I created the very first iteration of, ‘The Visual Guide to a Figure Competitor‘.

I think this is going to be a game changer.

Pure brillance.

Oh the information and misinformation!

Yup, I have asked the Google many, many odd things.

A word of caution. If you are sick, don’t ask Google about it. Before you know what happened your itchy elbow and running nose combination is a sure sign of the bubonic plague or perhaps you have a rare blood disorder.

Either is possible according to the Google.

We live in the information age and, let’s be honest, we are kinda fat.

No judgement here.

I used to avoid hugs so people didn’t have to feel my fat rolls and flying was a test of mental fortitude because one seat barely contained me. I knew what I should do, there was no question about it. My health was in jeopardy and I wasn’t able to run the length of a football field without having a quasi asthma attack.

Information doesn’t create transformation.

When I wore the clothing sizes that had a ‘w‘ after them, which I promptly decided stood for ‘wide‘ not ‘women‘, I knew I shouldn’t eat two family sized bags of mini eggs for an afternoon snack while studying for my university exams.

ACK! These things are my kryptonite.

Two grapefruits for supper doesn’t make it all better.

What happens is your wide pants get skinnier.

So where does transformation begin?

• Disgust
• Offense
• Frustration

More aptly put, pain.

I got sick and tired of people wondering if I was pregnant, feeling lethargic and sick, being unable to play outside with my friends, and loathing how I looked.

If you are ready to start on the journey of transformation, whether it be in your body, mind, spirit, or emotions, get ready to be uncomfortable and start putting all that information to use.

• Pick one thing and just start. Make it a mindless good habit.
• Dream and create a vision about where you want to go, focus on going and not staying.
• Constrain your options. Its hard to eat junk food late at night if it just isn’t in your house.
• Commit to what you want. Only go forward even if it is only an inch.
• See who and what you’re starting to become, not just where you’ve come from.
• Be proud and say it out loud. You are great and doing great; untie the ropes of guilt that drag you down.

I am not going to lie.

It is going to be hard and sometimes painful, but when you earn your health it is one of the most value things you’ll ever have.

Its worth it.

You’re worth it.

The banter between myself and the waitress is way more high maintenance than necessary and I have an audience.

DL – (pretending to read the menu) I will take a house salad, dressing on the side, and plain grilled chicken breast. Oh by the way, what veggies come on the house salad?

Waitress – A beautiful heirloom tomato, julienned carrots, and other in season vegetables. So nothing on the chicken?

DL – (calculating macros in my head) Just grilled and on the side. Perfect!

Waitress – Are you allergic to something? We have a lovely marinade that tastes absolutely divine on the chicken.

DL – No, I am not allergic, just plain grilled chicken. Salt, pepper, and maybe garlic?

Waitress – I could ask the chef what other seasonings are available.

DL – No, don’t worry about it. Just no oil or butter please. Plain chicken….make it as boring as you can please.

Waitress – So just plain. On the grill. Nothing on it. Ok then. 

DL – Yup. Exactly. I like my food naked.

Perhaps I should just lead with that.

So, I like my food naked…

I am sure no one will get the wrong impression.

Who else out there likes their food naked?

Honey, umm…you totally want cereal for supper, right? I’m going to have cold chicken, 14 baby carrots, and 7 almonds, and then tuck myself into bed. I promise that tomorrow will be better…more carbs!

I don’t care what we tell you, here’s the truth.

Competition dieting sucks.

Dieting for a competition is way more focussed, intense, and hardcore than a ‘healthy eating plan‘. It is a healthy eating plan shoved through the finest mesh filter that exists on the planet.

Living with a dieting competitor is not fun; also true.

This time around I am really doing much better managing my mood and being honest with myself about how the low carb days affect me.

There are days I find myself unable to complete all the tasks I planned for the day. Somehow my superwoman cape comes loose, no matter how firmly I tied it on at 4:30 am that morning.

• The kitchen remains an overgrown jungle of tupperware, pots, and pans. ‘Wash and Go‘ is the new method for food prep in the morning.
• Laundry. What’s that? !
• I take my glasses off so its impossible to notice the floor needs sweeping.

Yet, there is one thing I still do no matter what each and every, single week.

Bake muffins.

Four batches of delicious muffins are made with extreme love every single week for my husband. Not one calorie is consumed, unless you can inhale calories.

CARBS! Tasty, delicious, fantabulous carbs! Not a spoon, bowl, or finger was licked in the making of these muffins.

I am a shameless sniffer.

As soon as those babies come out of the oven I am smelling them like there is no tomorrow. Then they are packaged up and frozen for the week so he can have a tasty second breakfast around 9 am every day.

If your competitor can’t talk to you when you come home from work because she gave everything at the gym and work and has no carbs left, but cooked or baked for you; she loves you.

Loves you more than you know.

You train like a mad woman, weigh every ounce of food you consume, live your life in an ‘obsessed‘ manner, and then you stand on a stage in a bedazzled bikini to be judged on your appearance.

• Dieting is not fun.
• Becoming a muscular skeleton is not easy.
• Pushing your body to failure every day hurts.
• Cake DOES taste good.
• Explaining how you can’t have ‘just one bite‘ gets real old, real fast.
• Winning results in ‘pro‘ status which means nothing in the real world, other than MORE dieting and ridiculousness that no one understands.

Yet I love it; but probably not for any of the reasons you think.

Bodybuilding is all about who I am becoming, not what.

I am hardwired to compete, and not just a little bit. If the stakes aren’t high enough, the challenge not difficult enough, and the opportunity to fail not present; I’m out.

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If winning is guaranteed, I will opt to sit on the sidelines and watch others compete.

Bodybuilding is a crazy sport that has brought out the best in me and helped me to dream past the impossible and jump into the incredible in all areas of my life.

The amount of work, focus, self discipline, inner peace, and loving every single part of who I am is required to do well in this sport. I spend more time training my brain than my body. How I think, what I believe, and what I say about myself, my relationships, the world, and my business creates outcomes.

I strive daily for amazing outcomes. 

Why don’t you just train hard and not compete?

There is more to learn for me in this season. Motion creates emotions. I want to feel successful, fulfilled, love myself, and have an inner calm that is a direct result of focus and discipline. There is work to be done, much more work to be done, in all these areas of my life. I will continue to compete against myself.

I am blessed to be in community with competitors that are a unique breed of people who live audacious, fulfilled, and purposeful lives. They are far ahead of me in so many areas of life. As I train next to them I learn and am pushed to grow past my self imposed limitations.

• Every single thing matters and adds up over time to create what is today and what will be tomorrow.
• Pushing past resistance can create more strength than you thought possible.
• You must rest. Killing yourself doesn’t create success, rather balance does.
• Intensity is the outcome of passion and when focussed it can shift worlds and overcome obstacles that once seemed impossible.
• How you train shows up on the stage and in life.
• Outcomes cannot be controlled, the only thing you can control is yourself.
• People matter more than anything else in the world; creating an amazing team is paramount for success.

It turns out bodybuilding is an inside job.

Who are you training to become?

Watch my silly video to see why!

Read the whole post that inspired me to come up with the banana metaphor in the first place.

Change your mind, change your world.

Seriously.